my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize