I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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