It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
