The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
