Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
