When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
