Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
