cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
