Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
