And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
