Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I need moral support for this bender
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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