I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
