I'm eating all of the evidence.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
