Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
