oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
