i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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