If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
