i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
