I could make wine with my vomit
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
