May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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