Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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