She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
