im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
