Porn is love you can see.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
