I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm like, not good at living.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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