then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
