I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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