u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
