addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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