No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
