MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
