Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
