i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize