It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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