i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
