she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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