Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize