I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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