She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
