i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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