Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Maybe he injected his testicle?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize