I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
