I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
