i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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