Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
