I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
