I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
