I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
