Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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