The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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