I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize