3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
