everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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