so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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