HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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